Fantasy, Fiction

Nevernight by Jay Kristoff

I’ve been trying to read Nevernight for the better part of two and a half years. Which is weird, because I really like it. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to read it, save for my occasionally annoying new obsession with all thing nonfiction that makes fiction seem boring. Which again, weird. Fiction is supposed to be the opposite of boring.

Synopsis

From the Back Cover:
In a world where the suns almost never set, a woman gains entry to a school of infamous assassins, seeking vengeance against the powers that destroyed her family. Daughter of an executed traitor, Mia Corvere is barely able to escape her father’s failed rebellion with her life. Alone and friendless, she wanders a city built from the bones of a dead god, hunted by the Senate and its thugs. But her gift for speaking with the shadows leads her to the hearth of a retired killer and a future she never imagined.

Now, Mia is apprenticed to the deadliest flock of assassins in the entire Republic – the Red Church. Deadly trials await her within the Church’s halls: blades and poisons, treachery and death. If she survives to initiation, she’ll be inducted among the chosen of the Lady of Blessed Murder and be one step closer to the only thing she desires: revenge.

Review

I’ll admit, Nevernight is not an easy book to get into reading, let alone enjoying. It is dense and full of not just elaborate descriptions, but anecdotal footnotes. Lots of footnotes. And I’m not big on footnotes, I find they disrupt the reading flow and often unnecessary. It took me 100 pages to figure out that the footnotes were Jay’s way of filling the reader in on the history and customs of the world of Nevernight and as the world gets fleshed out, the footnotes taper off.

But once the world feels a bit more complete to the reader, it takes off like a shot. As I first picked up Nevernight because a friend told me it was an adult Throne of Glass, I kept waiting to feel like I was getting inside Mia’s head, a feat I think I finally felt I achieved when she arrived at the Red Church. From this point on, Mia’s physical journey slows down, but her mental and emotional journey accelerates and I found myself flipping page after page to get to the conclusion of the first book.

With the release of the third book swiftly approaching in September, I’m going to linger a little bit more on the second in the trilogy, but I am glad I waited until now to finish Nevernight. I have finally come to understand the people who wait until entire series are released to get started – after spending much of my reading life waiting for the next book in a series, or having to reread from the beginning because I’m forgetful (the primary reason why I haven’t finish the Throne of Glass series because I was an early reader) and I hate the feeling of having forgotten something major in a plot. This may also be why I’ve been reading a lot of nonfiction…

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Edition: Paperback • $17.99 • 9781250132130 • 464 pages • originally published August 2016, this edition published June 2017 by Thomas Dunne • average Goodreads rating 4.31 out of 5 stars • read March 2019

Biography, History, Non-Fiction

A Gross of Pirates by Terry Breverton

I love being an adult book buyer at a bookstore. When the publisher reps hear me getting particularly excited about something, they occasionally will send me a copy, and I was lucky enough to come home the other day to A Gross of Pirates sitting on the front porch waiting for me.

Synopsis

From the Dust Jacket:
It is no use pretending that these criminals do not evoke admiration – even envy. Part of the appeal is the democrati nature of their activities, characterised as far back as the 14th century by Klaus Stortebeker thieving in the Baltic – his crew were called the Likedeelers, the equal sharers. Author Terry Breverton has brought together the extraordinary stories of 144 pirates throughout history. They include Norman privateers, Barbary Corsairs, Elizabethan adventurers, Chinese pirates, the ‘Brethren of the Coast’ – and of course the pirates of the Caribbean.

Beginning with the 9th-century ‘Shield Maiden’ pirate Alfhild and ending with Mohamed Abdi Hassan – ‘Afweyne’ (Big Mouth) – who ransomed supertankers for tens of millions of dollars, A Gross of Pirates is an exciting journey under full sail across a millennium of blood and treasure.

Review

I’ve been working on a fictionalized retelling of the adventures of Alfhild, the Shield Maiden mentioned on the cover of A Gross of Pirates for years now, ever since I was first introduced to her story in Princesses Behaving Badly five and a half years ago. So little information exists about her (her actual existence is itself debatable), I get particularly excited every time I see her mentioned somewhere and because of that, I probably own every book that references her.

While A Gross of Pirates offers me no further information on my heroine, it does offer a great detail of helpful, factual, and entertaining information about 143 other pirates, many of whom this particular pirate enthusiast has never heard of. There are the typical suspects, Henry Morgan, Blackbeard, Anne Bonny, of course, and Breverton even includes my distant relation, Sir Francis Drake, who kick-started my pirate obsession when I was in the fifth grade. The others, though, were new to me. And as an enthusiast of mini-bio books (my term for books that include short features on numerous people), it has been a long time since I’ve come across new names!

The pirates are grouped by time period, location, type of piracy, and each story seems more shocking then the one before. If you have any interest in a deliciously entertaining yet thoroughly researched pirate book, you cannot go wrong with A Gross of Pirates!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Edition: Hardcover • $31.95 • 9781445682921 • 320 pages • published March 2019 by Amberley Publishing • read in March 2019

Gross of Pirates

Graphic Novel, Memoir/Autobiography, Non-Fiction

Kid Gloves by Lucy Knisley

I don’t know if I want kids. Thankfully, my husband also isn’t sure, so we are unsure together. And when Lucy announced her own pregnancy at the beginning of 2016, I was so excited because I knew, eventually, she’d write about it has she has done with countless other events in her life, such as when she got married and wrote Something New. So once again, I turn to Lucy for wisdom and advice, guidance and experience, to help me continue to understand my own feelings toward motherhood as my 30th birthday swiftly approaches.

Synopsis

From the inside flap:
Her whole life, Lucy Knisley wanted to be a mother. But when it was finally the perfect time, conceiving turned out to be harder than anything she’d ever attempted. Fertility problems were followed by miscarriages, and her eventual successful pregnancy plagued by health issues, up to a dramatic near-death experience during labor and delivery.

This surprisingly informative memoir not only follows Lucy’s personal transition into motherhood but also illustrates the history and science of reproductive health from all angles, including curious facts and inspiring (and notorious) figures in medicine and midwifery. Whether you’ve got kids, want them, or want nothing to do with them, there’s something in this graphic memoir for you.

Review

I have always felt like Lucy Knisley is the big sister I wish I had. I had a few older step sisters over the years, but as seems to be the case with most American families these days, we didn’t keep in touch when our respective parents split. So on Lucy I rely. French Milk I read before studying abroad, Displacement to help me cope with my grandmother’s aging on a family trip to the Bahamas, Something New arrived shortly before I got married… and now, as my husband and I contemplate having children, Lucy has come through for me once again, releasing Kid Gloves.

When I begged our publisher rep for an early copy, the rep with whom I’ve had many conversations about our childbearing decisions, warned me that it wasn’t a glowing recommendation either way, but a chronicle of Lucy’s unique experience, which was exactly what I needed. Lucy’s honest depictions of her life have offered me more guidance and wisdom than any other author of the last decade of my reading life.

As my friends have, and try to have, children, I find myself wondering if I want to join their ranks or if I would be happier as Aunt Sarah. When my nephew was born in late 2017, I revisited my feelings once again, and found myself happily Aunt Sarah, happy to hand him back to my brother- and sister-in-law. Lucy’s memoir has helped me understand my own feelings and it is truly a spectacular book.

It is perfect. Her best yet, and I’ve read every single one. Lucy’s son, “Pal,” is now a social media darling in his own right, and Lucy, and her husband John, faced miscarriages, depression, anxiety, pre-eclampsia and eclampsia to have their son and Lucy details each of these experiences in Kid Gloves with, at times, excruciating and raw emotional detail. It is a beautiful graphic novel memoir, the style typical of Lucy’s other books, but she’s really knocked it out of the park with the emotional content this time.

Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Edition: Paperback • $19.99 • 9781626728080 • 256 pages • published February 2019 by First Second • average Goodreads rating 4.68 out of 5 • read November 2018

Kid Gloves (3)

Non-Fiction, Psychology

Unf*ck Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman

As my husband and I have started house hunting and I may have a bit of a… collecting problem, I figured it was high time I got my butt in gear and started working on developing useful and effective cleaning and organizing habits!

Synopsis

From the Back Cover
Finally, a housekeeping and organizational system developed for those of us who’d describe our current living situation as a “f*cking mess” that we’re desperate to fix. Unf*ck Your Habitat is for anyone who has been left behind by traditional aspirational systems. The ones that ignore single people with full-time jobs; people without kids but living with roommates; and people with mental illnesses or physical limitations. Most organizational books are aimed at traditional homemakers, DIYers, and people who seem to have unimaginable amounts of free time. They assume we all iron our sheets, have linen napkins to match our table runners, and can keep plants alive for longer than a week. Basically, they ignore most of us living here in the real world!

Interspersed with lists and challenges, this practical, no-nonsense advice relies on a 20/10 system (20 minutes of cleaning followed by a 10-minute break; no marathon cleaning allowed) to help you develop lifelong habits. It motivates you to embrace a new lifestyle in manageable sections so you can actually start applying the tactics as you progress. For everyone stuck between The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Adulting, the philosophy is more realistic than aspirational, but the goal is the same: not everyone will have a showcase of a home, but whatever your habitat, you deserve for it to bring you happiness, not stress.

Review

I’ve never been good a cleaning or keeping my room/dorm/apartment particularly tidy. I love to organize, but I’m not always so good at maintaining said organizational systems. I struggle with anxiety and I often will retreat into bed rather than clean. So needless to say, I could use some help, some real help, not my mother-in-law wanting to throw everything away.

I started listening to Unf*ck Your Habitat one Sunday afternoon while my husband and I were cleaning and I spent all of my allotted cleaning time doing the dishes. One should not have to spend and hour doing dishes. And that is when I finally admitted I had a problem.

I appreciate Rachel’s approach of adopting small changes over a period of time and not expecting yourself to develop a whole new cleaning mentality overnight. Her dissuasion from marathon cleaning also makes a great deal of sense. The chapters are laid out sensibly and also include ways to handle organizing your space for a variety of different living situations.

Additionally helpful is the chapter on emergency cleaning (which I find myself doing before my MIL comes over) as well the chapter on how to set up fresh cleaning habits when moving – and given that we have just put an offer in on our first house, it is incredibly helpful. So if you’ve watched Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix and feeling overwhelmed, give Rachel’s Unf*ck Your Habitat a try. And even if you don’t want to dive right into the book, I found her website tremendously helpful as well.

Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Edition: Hardcover • $16.99 • 9781250102959 • 224 pages • published January 2017 by St. Martin’s Griffin • average Goodreads 3.79 out of 5 stars • read in February 2019

Unf_ck Your Habitat (2)

Memoir/Autobiography, Non-Fiction

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Eric Idle

Given that we recently traveled to Doune Castle, the filming location for Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I wanted a bit more background on one of my favorite comedy troupes, the infamous Pythons. Also, please ignore the badly photoshopped photo, I have a bone to pick with Michael Palin’s bookstore, Aberfeldy’s Watermill Bookshop about that…

Synopsis

From Inside the Dust Jacket:
We know him best for his unforgettable roles with Monty Python – from the Flying Circus to The Meaning of Life. Now Eric Idle reflects on the meaning of his own life in this entertaining memoir that takes us on a remarkable journey from his childhood in an austere boarding school through his successful career in comedy, television, theater, and film. Coming of age as a writer and comedian during the Sixties and Seventies, Eric stumbled into the crossroads of the cultural revolution and found himself rubbing shoulders with the likes of George Harrison, David Bowie, and Robin Williams, all of whom became dear lifelong friends. With anecdotes sprinkled throughout involving other close friends and luminaries such as Mike Nichols, Mick Jagger, Steve Martin, Paul Simon, and Lorne Michaels, as well as the Pythons themselves, Eric captures a time of tremendous creative output with equal parts hilarity and heart.

In Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, named for the song he wrote for Life of Brian that has become the number one song played at funerals in the UK, he shares the highlights of his life. and career with the kind of offbeat humor that has delighted audiences for five decades. The year 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of the Pythons, and Eric is marking the occasion with this hilarious memoir chock-full of behind-the-scenes stories from a high-flying life featuring everyone from Princess Leia to Queen Elizabeth.

Review

Eric Idle was friends with everybody. Anybody who was anyone of notes in the late ’60s through early ’90s in the comedy and rock-and-roll world was his friend. From Mick Jagger to Robin Williams and most celebrities in between, Eric Idle knew everyone in Hollywood, New York, London, and everywhere in between. His memoir reads less like a story of his life and more like a who’s who list.

Three chapters in particular, though, stuck with me. I listened to the audiobook, which Eric Idle read himself, and it was obvious which two chapters were hardest for him to write. Those that recount two deaths, that of his best friend, George Harrison, and his friend Robin Williams. I cried listening to him recount how George was assaulted and later passed away. I felt the pain he felt at loosing his best friend of nearly four decades. In his recounting of his friendship with Robin Williams, he shared that his friends also felt blindsided by his death. The public, those who knew him best, no one expected him to take his own life. The emotion Eric evokes is heavy and weighs on the narrative.

The third chapter that remains with me is that of the journey from Holy Grail to Spamalot. Eric was the musical genius of Monty Python, responsible for the vast majority of the songs in all of their works. As such, he was the driving force in adapting Holy Grail from film to stage. It’s been a show I’ve always wanted to see and one my husband saw with the original cast. Eric’s delight in the success of the show is inspiring and an uplifting moment to motivate anyone to follow their dreams.

All in all, if you love Monty Python and the British celebrity scene of the late mid-20th century, this book is a riot and perfect for you.

Rating: 8 out of 10

Edition: Hardcover • $27.00 • 9781984822581 • 304 pages • published October 2018 by Crown Archetype • average Goodreads rating 3.85 out of 5 stars • read in February 2019

Always Look On the Bright Side of Life (2)

Essays, Memoir/Autobiography, Non-Fiction

Paddle Your Own Canoe by Nick Offerman

After watching Making It and meeting Nick in June at Book Expo, I figured it about time I read one of his books. When I realized that I read so many books by famous women that are thinly veiled self-help memoir-y type books, I realized I owed to my inherently bias self to pick one up for men and give it a go.

Synopsis

From the Back Cover:
When it comes to growing a robust mustache, masticating red meat, building a chair, or wooing a woman, who better to educate you than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation‘s Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in carpentry, Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman’s childhood (born, literally, in the middle of an Illinois cornfield) to his theater days in Chicago to the, frankly, magnificent seduction of his wife, Megan Mullally. Offerman also shares his hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, styles, and religion, and invaluable advice on getting the most pleasure out of woodworking, assorted meats, outdoor recreation, and other palatable entrees.

Review

I feel like most books I read this days are a 7 out of 10. I enjoyed them while reading, and then almost immediately forget them. Maybe a passage or two stands out here and there, but for the most part, they’re in one ear and out the other, particularly so as I’ve found I enjoy listening the celebrity read memoirs as audiobooks these days. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have the patience for them.

But, Nick Offerman has a gentle voice and so I’ve been listening to Paddle Your Own Canoe to help me fall asleep at night. It certainly isn’t boring, but it does put me in a sleepy state of mind (though my husband says I’m practically narcoleptic, so there’s that…). The tales he shares of his childhood and young adulthood are funny and interesting, a bit raunchier and irreverent than I was expecting, but still enjoyable. Men are definitely the target audience, but I enjoyed his tales and especially his words of wisdom to men.

There are a lot of rich white dudes who say things about masculinity and women that are toxic and misogynistic. Nick Offerman, thank goodness, is not one of those men. His advice is practical and reasonable and boils down to “be a good person, don’t be an asshole,” words we can all strive to live by. But overall, I would say Paddle Your Own Canoe is about on par with Mindy Kaling’s Why Not Me as far as parts memoir, humor and life advice.

Rating: 7 out of 10

Edition: Paperback • $16.00 • 9780451467096 • 352 pages • originally published October 2013, this edition published September 2014 by Dutton • average Goodreads rating 3.67 out of 5 stars • read February 2019

Paddle Your Own Canoe (2)

Diary of a Bookseller

What a Bookseller *Really* Does

Diary of a Bookseller, Day 1

When people find out I work at a bookstore, invariably one of their first reactions is “I wish I could read at work!” They are often shocked to find that I do not have any spare time at work for reading. I’m working. My friend Amanda who works at a call center has way more time to read than I do. So below, I thought it would be fun to share my bookstore life with you!

My Role: Manager of a Local Independent Bookstore

As the manager of an indie bookstore, the Towne Book Center & Wine Bar in Collegeville, Pennsylvania, about a 45 minute drive northwest out of Philadelphia, I wear many different hats and am first and foremost a bookseller and that will be my focus this week!

Bookselling

I am the sort of reader who really doesn’t like asking for or taking other people’s recommendations. I read off the wall sort of stuff and, not to be arrogant or anything, but typically have read the big series before they blew up, especially when it comes to young adult works. So when I took my job, I was shocked to discover that I’m in the minority – most people like recommendations and they come into our store because they like ours in particular. As someone who has never had a problem dolling out recommendations (just ask my sister!), I enjoy curating our staff pick selection, writing blurbs (mini-reviews) of them, and sharing them with other people. I tend to read across a lot of genres, so I usually have a pretty good repertoire in my head to recommend.

Shelving

All booksellers must know the alphabet backwards and forwards and we are expected to know at the drop of the hat if we have a book on the shelf at any given time – shelving (or receiving) is the best way to become familiar with the store’s inventory. However, there are over 10,000 titles on our shelves, and yet it never fails to surprise me when people are surprised that I don’t know exactly where an obscure title is or when they find out that I haven’t read every book on the shelf.

Displays

Being an independent bookstore means we get to create all of our own displays! Yay! We have 35 different displays in the store and we change them. Monthly. That means we have to come up with 420 unique displays every year. Sure some are recycled from year to year, but we usually brainstorm all new displays every month, every year. It’s fun, but sometimes you get burnt out and wish you had someone else telling you what to put out. Please consider this an open invite – if you have an idea, let me know! We come up with them all together as a staff each month and the publishers will occasionally offer ideas, but we can always use more!

Social Media

It’s the 21st century – bookstores that don’t have active social media accounts are losing out. The woman who runs our social media account relies on all of us to help come up with ideas for it and it’s so much fun. Last week I did my first “bookface” post on our store Instagram, the same picture used for my review of Girl Logic by Iliza Shlesinger and it’s now our top post, as well as my top post on my Celebration of Books account.

Next Week: Author Events!

 

Bookish Tuesday

Books to Finally Finish This Year

Now that I am finally in the mood to read fiction again there are a few books that I’ve made decent progress with in the last two years that I will hopefully now finally finish! 

1. Beartown by Fredrik Backman

Reason #1 for wanting to read it: It is a story about ice hockey! No one has written a decent fictional ice hockey story that is still in print – I spent years searching. #2, the world has been raving about Backman for a few years now and I’ve very much wanted to give him a read.
Book format: Advanced Reader Copy
Length of time since started book: 2 years.

Beartown (2).jpg

2. Nevernight by Jay Kristoff

I bought the hardcover for this book right when it came out as I was hoping for a good book to break my Sarah J. Maas hangover.
Book format: 1st Edition Hardcover
Length of time since started book: 2.5 years

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3. The Half-Drowned King by Linnea Hartsuyker

A tale of Viking adventure? That came out right as I was really starting to hit my stride with my own Viking adventure that I’ve been working on now for 6 years? Sign me up!
Book Format: Advanced Reader Copy
Length of Time Since Started Book: 1.75 years

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4. Jackaby by William Ritter

Touted as a combination of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sherlock Holmes, I was enthralled immediately – a case of I put it down on day and couldn’t remember where when I was ready to pick it back up.
Book Format: Paperback
Length of Time Since Started Book: 3 years

jackaby

5. And After the Fire by Lauren Belfer

On of my first ARCs, a mix of historical fiction and contemporary, And After the Fire is the dual narrative of two Jewish women tied together by a piece of music by J. S. Bach. The author is local to the area and the writing is beautiful – I took it on a trip and misplaced it upon my return and upon it’s rediscovery, I didn’t feel like reading fiction anymore.
Book Format: Advanced Reader Copy
Length of Time Since Started Book: 3 years

and after the fire

Essays, Non-Fiction, Psychology

Girl Logic by Iliza Shlesinger

Self-Help January continues! This book originally came out in November 2017 and I still have an advance reader copy… I’ve been sitting on it for almost 2 years and decided now was finally the time to read it. I love Iliza, so much so that I decided to use her book for my first “bookface” picture!

Synopsis

From the Back Cover:
Have you ever been pissed because you’re not pretty enough, and then gotten even more pissed that someone didn’t find you as pretty as you think you are? Have you ever obsessed over the size of your thighs while eating dessert, all the while saying you’ll work out extra tomorrow? Or spent endless hours wondering why you have to bear the brunt of other people’s insecurities? I mean, after all, I’m pretty great. Why cope with insecurities I don’t already have?

That last one’s just me? All right, then.

But if the rest sounds familiar, you are experiencing girl Logic: a characteristically female way of thinking that appears contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. You end up considering every repercussion of every choice (about dating, career, clothes, lunch) before making a move toward what you really want. And why do we attempt these mental hurdles? Well, that’s what this book is all about.

The fact is, whether you’re obsessing over his last text or the most important meeting of your career, your Girl Logic serves a purpose: It helps push you, question what you want, and clarify what will make you a happier, better person. Girl Logic can be every confident woman’s secret weapon, and this book shows you how to wield it.

Review

Last week I wrote about what I call “Self-Help January” and my doubts about how helpful self-help books written by middle class female white millennials can be. And I came away without a clear answer to my question. And now I’m back with another white female middle class (elder) millennial written self-help book. As this is my primary demographic, it is the subset I am most drawn to for self-help, but I also want to find books to review and recommend that are applicable to those outside this narrow subset as well. And Iliza, how I love you, seems a bit more helpful than last week’s Adulting.

If you haven’t seen or heard of Iliza, allow me to introduce her to you. She is a stand-up comic (but so much more!) and she won Last Comic Standing – the youngest and first woman to ever do so. She has a handful of Netflix specials, two (short-lived) television shows, Forever 31 on ABC and Truth and Iliza on Freeform. Her most recent Netflix special, Elder Millennial, is her best thus far.

Her honest and confident approach to life make her a role model for all young women, as well as her peers. And she freely admits that she doesn’t have everything sorted out – that her life is still a work in progress and her success is not a measuring stick for others’. The topics she covers in Girl Logic stem from the female-centered topics of her stand-up and focuses on three primary relationships: the relationship with have with ourselves, with other women, and with men.

The relationship with men section entertained me, but as someone who’s been in a relationship for the entirety of my twenties, I didn’t find much to relate to there but I know a lot of my friends who have also read Girl Logic found her advice here to be most helpful. For me, I have had a crappy on-off relationship with my body it feels like. I hate it, I love it, I’ve starved it, coddled it, over-fed it, under-exercised it, etc. It is always helpful to hear about other women’s similar struggles, if only for a reminder that it’s something we all do and our inner-monologue (aka Girl Logic) is both helpful and harmful in this relationship.

Iliza’s last point starts with a bit of an apology in regards to her previous acts – acts where she hasn’t always been as kind to other women as she would like. And that particular section is tremendously helpful. Women should support other women, but not blindly follow them just because they are women. But lead with kindness and respect – that’s really all that matters. You don’t have to be friends, but with mutual kindness and respect, life will be a lot happier all around.

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Edition: Paperback • $15.99 • 9781602863347 • 256 pages • first published November 2017, this edition published November 2018 by Hachette Books • average Goodreads rating 3.90 out of 5 • read January 2019

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Non-Fiction, Psychology

Adulting (Updated Edition) by Kelly Williams Brown

I’ve started referring to January as Self-Help Month. I know it’s really in the summer, or something like that, but if working in a books store for the last 4 Januarys has taught me only one thing, it’s that the best selling section of the store this month is Psychology/Self-Help.

Synopsis

From the back cover:
“Adult” isn’t a noun; it’s a verb. Just because you don’t feel like an adult doesn’t mean you can’t fake it ’til you make it. ADULTING, based on the blog that started a movement, makes the scary, confusing “real world” approachable, manageable – and even conquerable. This guide will help you to navigate the stormy Sea of Adulthood so that you may find safe harbor in Not Running Out of Toilet Paper Bay. Along the way you will learn:

  • How to be a better person in today’s often-crummy world – It involves the intersection of NPR and hair-straightening.
  • What to check when renting a new apartment – Not just the nearby bars, but the faucets and stove, among other things.
  • How to avoid hooking up with anyone in your office – Imagine your coworkers having plastic, featureless doll crotches. It helps.

From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.

Review

First me, then the book. I’m a millennial. A stereotypical, I suck at adulting, type of millennial. On my next birthday I’ll be the big 3-0 and while my goals for the 25 year mark pretty much went ignored, there are some aspects of my life I hope to have sorted out by 30. Some aspects of my life may make me seem like more of an adult in most people’s eyes (full time job, married, self-sufficient, school loans paid off, etc), I still feel like a hopeless failure when it comes to most measures of adulthood success.

I have a great job, but it’s not what I went to college for, it’s not even what I went back to college for. I should be a lawyer or teacher if I were putting my degrees to use. I’m now frequently mistaken as an English major and that bothers me for some reason. I struggle to appropriately handle awkwardness, I can be a right terrible friend at times because I fail to communicate effectively, and, while my coworkers (and mom) tell me I’ve matured a great deal in the last few years, I just don’t feel like an adult.

I was reading an article a few days ago, I wish I remembered where, but it mentioned that the new threshold for finally “feeling like an adult” for millennials has been set at “having your own kids.” Once you are a parent, you are officially an adult. It isn’t a steadfast threshold, but one gleaned from conversations and interviews with members of my generation. And I would say, I agree. Whether or not I’ll be having kids is still in the air, but if I don’t, will I ever feel like an adult?

Now the book. I’m here seeking advice from one of my peers about adulthood. Which is fair. I probably wouldn’t listen to an old rich white dude mansplain being an adult, which, he probably wouldn’t actually do, but instead tell me to stop whining and suck it up. But Kelly I can relate to. Her unique white female millennial problems are my white female millennial problems. Which is problematic.

This book is great for me. And other suburban-middle-class-raised millennial women. While there is a tremendous amount of helpful (and some less than helpful) general information in Adulting, ranging from relationships with other people to relationships with your houseplants, there’s an inherent bias that I’ve come to find exists in most of the self-help books that I’ve read. I pick up the ones that I do because either a, they’re funny, or b, the girl on the cover looks a bit like me.

Which leads me to my biggest theoretical question, is the pop-psychology style of self-improvement a luxury of the privileged? I’ve taken stock of the customers at the bookstore this past holiday season who have been asking for Girl Wash Your Face, the bestseller from Rachel Hollis, and I have discovered that they are mostly middle-aged, white, stay-at-home moms.

I’m not entirely sure of the answer to my question, but if you are really seeking to make a great change in your life, one that will require actual effort and perseverance and will have an outstandingly positive impact on your life, skip this book. If you’re a middle-class millennial woman who really just needs someone to tell her how to clean her kitchen like me, go for it. Knock yourself out. There’s some helpful bits.

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Edition: Paperback • $15.99 • 9781538729137 • 352 pages • originally published May 2013, updated and published March 2018 by Grand Central Life & Style • average Goodreads rating 3.74 out of 5 • read January 2019

adulting